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#1
When I was growing up, water was the only approved drink between meals.
— Amy Colleen (@sewistwrites) February 25, 2024
Yesterday my son asked for milk after playing outside at my parents' and my dad poured his grandson a giant cup of CHOCOLATE milk.
🧐
IT WAS NOT EVEN ANYONE'S BIRTHDAY OR ANYTHING.
#2
my 2yo demanded a "skateboard song" at bedtime (idk how he knows what a skateboard is ???) and i told him i did not know a skateboard song but he insisted and so i sang "sk8er boi" and he went straight to sleep.
— emily (@emilykmay) February 20, 2024
#3
Another mom at preschool dropoff was like "you look so grown up!" and was like "Me? Thanks, I just straightened my hair today" and she was like "No...I was talking to your son" and now I guess I can never go back to preschool pickup ever again.
— Lucy Huber (@clhubes) January 24, 2024
#4
Apparently my 9yo daughter's imaginary friend is the ghost of an 8yo girl named Rose who died of the bubonic plague 200 years ago and I’m sure this is a completely normal developmental stage........
— Lil Bit 🌈 (@LizerReal) February 24, 2024
#5
My 6yo got home from school and crawled into bed with a tube of pringles, so I guess it was a rough day in kindergarten
— meghan (@deloisivete) February 21, 2024
#6
Sorry kids I missed your childhood, I was busy trying to catch up on emails from your school
— Vinod Chhaproo (@Chhapiness) February 29, 2024
#7
My 5yo: I AM GOING TO TELL YOU A STORY ABOUT A DRAGON AND LETTUCE.
— Courtney Ellis 🎈 (@courtneyellis) February 20, 2024
Me *after ten minutes of story*: Let’s wrap it up, Babe.
5yo: AND THEN EVERYONE DIED.
Me: That’ll work.
#8
The kids realized I bought store-brand ketchup and now they're all singing "It's the Hard-Knock Life" from the Annie musical.
— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) February 5, 2024
#9
8-year-old: When can I stay up as late as I want?
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) February 7, 2024
Me: When you're an adult.
8: By then, my life will be over.
You have no idea.
#10
“Do you think in heaven you can pee anywhere you want?” My daughter, asking the big questions
— Katie D (@KatieDeal99) February 26, 2024
#11
Wanted to see my 10yo so I reset the internet router to bring her out of her lair.
— Dad Named Matt 🇺🇸 (@mahnamematt) February 13, 2024
#12
Be warned that if you buy your 5 year old a watch, you are going to get minute by minute updates on what the current time is
— Average Dad (@Average_Dad1) February 27, 2024
#13
My parenting book:
— Daddy Go Fish (@daddygofish) February 6, 2024
Chapter 1: Ask Mommy
Chapter 2: Don’t Tell Mommy
#14
I called to my son from another room and he yelled “just text me” and that’s all you need to know about parenting teens.
— Mommy Needs A Life (@mom_needsalife) February 27, 2024
#15
My kids are playing doctor’s office and the receptionist just said, “the doctor will see you in five seconds” and this is the least realistic game I’ve ever seen.
— Courtney Ellis 🎈 (@courtneyellis) February 24, 2024
#16
my daughter is walking around slapping her stomach demanding dessert and i think ive been going about life the wrong way
— That Mom Tho (@mom_tho) February 6, 2024
#17
my daughter is walking around slapping her stomach demanding dessert and i think ive been going about life the wrong way
— That Mom Tho (@mom_tho) February 6, 2024
#18
“I like mommy’s car better”
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) February 29, 2024
-My daughter in the backseat of my truck having to use a Home Depot receipt to wipe her nose.
