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#1
My 8yo had the audacity to ask me why I cross my legs when I sneeze.
— Shannon (@ShannonJCurtin) September 11, 2022
You, dude. You are the reason.
#2
Not sure what most couples do to keep the spark alive in their marriage but I just touched up the trim paint on the baseboards and door frames.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) December 16, 2022
#3
🎶 He’s making a list…
— Be Kind Of Witty (@bekindofwitty) December 14, 2022
He’s checking it twice…
He left it at home.
He’s texting his wife 🎶
#4
My kids are playing pretend and I overheard my son say, “We don’t have enough money for any of this.”
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) December 19, 2022
Shit is getting real.
#5
My son got a face tat. Go ahead and bottle feed, it doesn’t matter.
— uncle mom (@mayamanion) December 18, 2022
#6
PSA: If you’re over 40 you can no longer wrap the presents while sitting on the floor.
— your other mom (@difficultpatty) December 21, 2022
#7
My kids are into You Tube challenges so I challenged them to “survive” in their room for 2 hours in silence without leaving for food and water. Follow me for more parenting tips.
— Bre (@fullofmomsense) December 14, 2022
#8
My mother in law is in town visiting and she keeps complaining that our house is cold. I just overheard her listening to a YouTube video about how to reset our nest thermostat. This should be fun 😳🤪
— Rhyming Mama (@sarabellab123) December 18, 2022
#9
The flight attendant just told me how polite my kids are so I think we’re dating now.
— @itssherifield (@itssherifield) December 19, 2022
#10
Kids will wait until you’re trying to merge across three lanes of traffic to ask you something like, how do you spell onomatopoeia?
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) December 19, 2022
#11
Parenting in December is equal parts Christmas magic and “Step away from the Amazon box.”
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) December 16, 2022
#12
Overheard my 6yo tell my 4yo "I'll just get you what I want and you get me what you want" and how did they figure out Christmas so quick
— Tori (@ToriTheMom) December 16, 2022
#13
when you sleep to avoid your problems but end up dreaming about them pic.twitter.com/eqyR9gvTKs
— 𝔉𝔩𝔦𝔵 ✩ (@luvinflix) December 17, 2022
#14
hard to believe there was once a time where they’d send a big yellow book to everyone’s house listing yours and everyone else’s assassination coordinates
— Sal Gentile (@salgentile) December 16, 2022
#15
Me when someone sees me in my “ain’t nobody gonna see me” outfit pic.twitter.com/StvzZRxjM7
— Qadi (@BigQadi) December 17, 2022
#16
The secret to a successful marriage is to call your wife seven times a day, to help her find her phone
— Vinod Chhaproo (@Chhapiness) December 12, 2022
#17
My husband said he was out of clean shirts and, turns out, saying he has my permission to use the washer 24/7 wasn't the support he was looking for
— Tori (@ToriTheMom) December 18, 2022
#18
My wife asked me what I had to do today and I said ‘tbh not much’ and yeah that was a mistake
— Dad Pickup Line (@dadpickupline) December 18, 2022
#19
I actually asked for a vacuum for Christmas but my husband laughed and told me he isn’t that stupid
— That Mom Tho (@mom_tho) December 13, 2022
