We keep a potato masher in a drawer because sometimes it's fun to not be able to open that drawer.

— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) August 15, 2017

My son is arguing with my husband about a math problem. My husband is an engineer. My son is in 4th grade. The confidence is strong in this one.

— Marcy G (@BunAndLeggings) December 6, 2022

My toddler is pretending to cook a meal and it involves a lot of screaming and throwing food in a pot. She gets it.

— Jessie (@mommajessiec) November 16, 2022

Parenting during the holidays is just a mix of threatening to call Santa while simultaneously trying to give your kids the best Christmas ever

— Maryfairyboberry🧚🏻‍♀️ (@maryfairybobrry) November 16, 2022

My wife inexplicably waited to the last minute to tell me that my kids have dance class today.

So annoying when she does this every week.

— My Life As Dad (@milifeasdad) November 16, 2022

My 5yo is at school and I'm babysitting her babies. I was looking through the diaper bag she left me and all she packed was a corn, and 2 butterflies. What am I supposed to do with this?

— Marcy G (@BunAndLeggings) November 14, 2022

we heard a loud beep in McDonald's and my daughter asked if it was their ice cream machine flatlining

— 🚀🎅Dad Missile Toeing🎅🚀 (@raoulvilla) November 15, 2022

I bought a second tiny Christmas tree for my kids to decorate so they don’t fuck up mine again this year.

— MumOfTwo (@MumOfTw0) December 5, 2022

There are few things more satisfying than beating other parents to the class party sign up and getting plates and napkins

— mom mom mom mom mom (@notmythirdrodeo) December 9, 2022

Before having kids I was excited to go on vacation, now I’m scared

— Real Life Mommy (@reallifemommy3) December 13, 2022

my six year old wanted me to pretend to be her mom and i said “i am your mom” and she said “but like, a cool young fun mom”

im glad i tore up my body to birth her just to get shredded to pieces like that

— That Mom Tho (@mom_tho) November 9, 2022

Welcome to parenthood. You never thought you'd want to fight a 5yo, but here we are.

— A Bearer Of Dad News (@HomeWithPeanut) November 9, 2022

but that’s my emotional support sweatshirt I’ve been wearing for 6 days

— ely kreimendahl (@ElyKreimendahl) December 5, 2022

no unfortunately i cannot give you directions around the city i have lived in my entire life

— 𝒛𝒂𝒉 🇧🇷 (@zaheerah_raja) December 7, 2022

When a frozen pizza tells you to put a pizza directly on the rack with no tray it’s like ok so what day is good for you to stop by to clean my oven?

— Sophia Benoit (@1followernodad) December 9, 2022