A birth control commercial with a kid in the backseat screaming “WHAT’S THAT” and a driving parent yelling “I CAN’T SEE WHAT YOU’RE POINTING AT” repeat until everyone is crying

— I Hide From My Kids (@IHideFromMyKids) January 2, 2023

The child who stayed up 2 hours past their bedtime slept in for an extra 12 minutes.

The math does not check out.

— Jessie (@mommajessiec) January 1, 2023

I got on a ski lift with my 5yo. She looked at the complete stranger next to us, "we're gonna die." I told her not to say that. My 5yo very loudly, "but it's true! We're all gonna die one day!" It was a fun ride.

— Marcy G (@BunAndLeggings) January 2, 2023

My parenting style can best be described as “whatever works in the moment”

— Katie D (@KatieDeal99) January 2, 2023

My daughter cut her finger and mom was busy so she came to me to ask for help. You’ve never seen a more distrusting face.

— McDad (@mcdadstuff) January 5, 2023

Hi. I’m a mom, but you might know me as “didn’t look inside my kid’s folder and find homework for break until 8:30am this morning”

— mom mom mom mom mom (@notmythirdrodeo) January 3, 2023

So excited for my kids to go back to school and I especially like the part where they bring home a new illness for the next month.

— My Life As Dad (@milifeasdad) January 3, 2023

Me: I can’t believe the kids are still asleep

Garbage truck: let me ruin this for you

— I Hide From My Kids (@IHideFromMyKids) December 28, 2022

5: Sleeping is boring

Me: THAT’S THE POINT

— Real Life Mommy (@reallifemommy3) December 30, 2022

Saying “parents are included” on your kid's birthday invitation is the quickest way to lose my friendship.

— Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) January 3, 2023

At first I was horrified that my child took the cheese off her pizza but then I realized I could eat it so then it was cool.

— @itssherifield (@itssherifield) January 5, 2023

What’s the going rate for the tooth fairy? In my house, it’s “whatever money I have on me, at the time.” It might be a nickel. Might be $5. My kids never know. I like to keep them on their toes.

— The Mommy Confessions (@alexandrafishr) January 3, 2023

Rule #1 of the parenting code: it is now acceptable to use baby wipes to clean everything

— An Apple Hat (@AnAppleHat) January 5, 2023

You know what's so hard about raising kids? The kids.

— Suppose She's A Wildflower (@_SouthernMama) January 4, 2023

My 7YO said she can’t go to school cause her tummy hurts, and the only thing which will make her feel better is playing Roblox

— Vinod Chhaproo (@Chhapiness) January 4, 2023