Forgot to mute myself on a Zoom call while my kids were home and my boss gave me three extra weeks of vacation.

— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) February 2, 2023

If you were my 2-year-old, where would you hide your brother's brand new passport?

— Amy Liptrot (@amy_may) January 31, 2023

A moment of sweet, sweet silence, please, for my kid’s “lost” kazoo

— mom mom mom mom mom (@notmythirdrodeo) February 2, 2023

I didn't know that every single household item could be used dangerously until I had a toddler. Like they will wreak some havoc with just a dish towel. Nothing is safe.

— An Apple Hat (@AnAppleHat) January 31, 2023

No one is full of more false hope than a parent saying good morning to their teen.

— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) January 30, 2023

Apparently you can’t complain to the restaurant staff about the loud kids when they are yours.

— My Life As Dad (@milifeasdad) February 1, 2023

My mom once slapped ketchup and cheese on Wonder bread and called it pizza and my kids are complaining that their sushi isn’t cut to their satisfaction

— I Hide From My Kids (@IHideFromMyKids) February 2, 2023

The wifi not reaching to the bathroom is just cruel when it’s the only place I have to hide from my kid

— Lottie-pop 🍭 (@Lottie_Poppie) February 2, 2023

My teen will really say “Why did you get those cookies? I don’t like those” and then proceed to eat all of them

— McDad (@mcdadstuff) February 2, 2023

Kids are like “why dirty a napkin when I can wipe my hands on my new shirt?”

— krista pacion (@kristabellerina) February 2, 2023

Apparently you can’t complain to the restaurant staff about the loud kids when they are yours.

— My Life As Dad (@milifeasdad) February 1, 2023

Toddlers really be acting like they're the victim of a terrible crime when really you're just asking them to look up so you can rinse their hair without getting water in their eyes.

— Raw Motherhood (@MetteAngerhofer) January 30, 2023