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#1
I cut the crust off my darling child’s PB&J, but then I give her the finger behind her back. This is how I practice Self-Care.
— DonutHawk (@StruggleDisplay) August 13, 2021
#2
Being an adult means you can eat a peanut butter and jelly sandwich at 3AM if you want, but you will gain four pounds if you do.
— Dan Regan (@DanRegan_Comedy) August 7, 2020
#3
It takes me about three minutes to make my 5yo a peanut butter and jelly sandwich which is coincidentally the exact amount of time it takes my 5yo to decide she doesn’t actually want a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.
— Snarky Mommy (@SnarkyMommy78) September 8, 2021
#4
most marriage fights revolve around money, kids & using the same knife for both the peanut butter and jelly
— Dad Set Against (@DadSetAgainst) September 24, 2022
#5
My toddler is mad at me because the jelly and peanut butter in her jelly-and-peanut butter sandwich THAT SHE ASKED ME TO MAKE are touching.
— Not the Nanny (@not_thenanny) June 30, 2022
#6
Good morning to everyone except for people who don’t wіpe the jelly off the knіfe before stіckіng іt іn the peanut butter jar.
— gas statіon dream gіrl (@cheygoulet) March 2, 2024
#7
3: mom, I want peanut butter and jelly
— mom mom mom mom mom (@notmythirdrodeo) November 20, 2021
me: okay. Do you want it in squares or triangles?
3: cut it in diamonds
#8
Has anyone ever asked Peanut butter & Jelly if THEY want to be together?
— Julz&©️offee (@lovejulieacafe) April 23, 2019
#9
Get married so you can argue about the correct way to make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.
— sixfootcandy (@sixfootcandy) January 15, 2021
#10
As a mom my biggest flex is being able to make a pb&j while holding a toddler that doesn’t want to be held but also doesn’t want to be set down
— One Awkward Mom (@oneawkwardmom) June 10, 2022
#11
My teen is talking about the time when she was 4 years old and I made her a pbj sandwich with crunchy peanut butter instead of creamy peanut butter if you’re wondering what type of lifelong memories kids have.
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) February 4, 2023
#12
we're going to dinner for our 16th anniversary tonight and I'm making my wife pick a restaurant. Looks like I'll be eating pbj and be dead before she picks a place.
— Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) August 6, 2021
#13
PB&J on Townhouse crackers...
— Julz&©️offee (@lovejulieacafe) September 30, 2020
I'd marry me. pic.twitter.com/8aSlOjncho
#14
“squares or triangles?”
— Lil Bit 🌈 (@LizerReal) January 6, 2021
“one or two?”
“peanut butter on top or bottom?”
...are all questions my 4yo has conditioned me to ask when making her a pb&j sandwich. or there are consequences.
#15
Me: I made you all peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) May 14, 2019
Kid’s friend: My mom cuts mine into squares.
Friend 2: My mom cuts mine into triangles.
Friend 3: My mom cuts mine into a dodecagon.
Me: Would you look at that? Play time’s over.
#16
Top 3 sandwiches:
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) May 10, 2019
BLT
PBJ
Ice Cream
#17
You can't scare me, you're not my toddler walking around with a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.
— 3 Wild Rainbows (@wildrainbow2) December 15, 2021
