gonna create a website called older fans and it's just me telling you what part of my body hurts today and what minuscule task i was doing that caused it

— Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) October 18, 2022

I don’t need Pinterest school lunch ideas. I need “Oh the bus is here” school lunch ideas.

— Jessie (@mommajessiec) October 14, 2022

My husband is volunteer coaching 2nd grade basketball and out of nowhere one of the kids burst into tears. When my husband asked him what was wrong, he said, “I’m just so hungry and I KNOW my brother is just sitting at home eating snacks.”

— Not the Nanny (@not_thenanny) October 16, 2022

I told my mom I thought parenting got easier as the kids get older and she laughed so hard she cried a little

— Katie D (@KatieDeal99) October 17, 2022

My wife makes us put $5 in the "find jar" every time we make her find something we can't locate in the house.

After 13 months of saving, today we are buying a Ford Explorer

— Michael James (@MikeJamesAuthor) October 17, 2022

Tonight we had tacos for dinner; one of the kids said she doesn’t like tacos, & I’m ready to give up on this parenting thing because I can’t work with people like this.

— Stephanie Ortiz (@Six_Pack_Mom) October 19, 2022

no i will NOT be reading your article on “60 easy dinners that take less than 30 minutes.” have you heard of cereal

— trash jones (@jzux) October 20, 2022

my daily routine is simple. I wake up, drink coffee, and spend all day yearning to get back in bed

— ely kreimendahl (@ElyKreimendahl) October 20, 2022

Sometimes I play this fun guessing game called “Is this a real injury or just old age?”

— Killer Candy Corn 👻🎃 (@sixfootcandy) October 18, 2022

If imitation is the sincerest form of flattery then my wife will be so proud of our son for dropping the F-bomb at kindergarten today

— Kevin The Dad (@kevinthedad) October 19, 2022