nurse drawing my blood yelled "we have a fainter" like really loud before anything happened which bothered me but then i did faint so it was like okay nevermind fair

— Cass (@_casscore) June 10, 2024

I’m not surprised I’m addicted to my phone.

I was the girl reading cereal boxes at breakfast and memorizing the back of shampoo bottles in the shower.

— Cori George (@heyletsmakestuf) June 13, 2024

If you have kids under the age of 6 and fun plans this summer, DO NOT tell them about the fun plans until you are literally arriving at the plans. Pulling up to the gate.

— sarah (@sarahradz_) June 12, 2024

One of those leashes parents use for kids but it’s to make sure my friend doesn’t leave me alone at a party

— Katie D (@KatieDeal99) June 13, 2024

When my 4yo woke up, she said "I'm so excited for my party today," and I have no idea what she's talking about.

— Laura Marie (@lmegordon) June 10, 2024

it’s the baby’s birthday! i say happy birthday!!! he says “it feels so nice to be 6 again”

😃 what 😃 do 😃 you 😃 mean 😃 sir

— Kemi Marie (they/them) (@kemimarie) June 12, 2024

I saw a TikTok where someone realized the filter for the air purifier they’d been using for months had the plastic on it the whole time

I thought “who could be this dumb?” but decided to check mine just for giggles

And guys you’re not going to believe this but….

— Sam G (@ItsSamG) June 13, 2024

“Your daughter has been training the other children to cry on demand, seemingly in order to disrupt the class” is among the many things that parenting books have not prepared me for

— Average Dad (@Average_Dad1) June 11, 2024

bro gonna send them a microsoft teams link https://t.co/rG0COIWvoZ

— ethical hater (@DijahSB) June 10, 2024

I just want everyone's lips to go back to normal.

— your other mom (@difficultpatty) June 12, 2024

The first fourteen hours after waking up are the hardest.

— karanbir singh 🫶 (@karanbirtinna) June 11, 2024

My potassium is super low and apparently causing heart problems, so I have been prescribed a potato diet, and let me say, this is the best diet.

— Jessica Ellis (@baddestmamajama) June 11, 2024

Yesterday was a day that will go down in infamy in our family as The Honey Incident: the 3 year old brought a FULL container of honey to her room, opened it, and the 1.5 year old spilled the whole thing and spread it all over the room. I will be reminding them of this until I DIE

— eli 🕯✨ (@nienna121) June 12, 2024

… and then I heard those three magical words: “can we reschedule?”

— Kellalena (@topaz_kell) June 11, 2024

having siblings is so funny. you're like yeah of course i love them but once when i was little they zipped me into a suitcase and pushed me down the stairs

— trash jones (@jzux) June 11, 2024

I’m glad I grew up in the era where no one cared what kinda car you had in HS. As long as you had a car, everyone wanted a ride.

— ♛ℳelvid Ruffin (@OGMelo_) June 11, 2024

My new refrigerator has Wi-Fi connectability. So if anyone calls and asks if my refrigerator’s running, I can easily check.

— Darla (@ddsmidt) December 8, 2020