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#1
I'm glad my kids summer camp list of what not to pack had "alcohol" on there because I almost packed him a 6 pack of beer. Whew.
— Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) June 6, 2024
#2
Sometimes people without kids see a mom out with her kids and are like “wow she makes that look easy” but not me. I come to your cookout with my children and make you say “oh my GOD we are never having children”
— Lucy Huber (@clhubes) June 2, 2024
#3
Everyday is National Donut Day to me bc I’m not a coward
— DonutHawk (@StruggleDisplay) June 7, 2024
#4
Life with a man, in two sentences: pic.twitter.com/Umov9Wm6jN
— Real Life Mommy (@reallifemommy3) June 7, 2024
#5
Do men mansplain to each other or do they reserve that just for us?
— krista pacion (@kristabellerina) June 6, 2024
#6
Dear hotel bathroom designers,
— your other mom (@difficultpatty) June 6, 2024
No one is asking for complicated shower faucets.
Sincerely,
Everyone
#7
My son turns 15 next week and I told him we should open presents at 2:12 pm because that’s when he was born and he said, “That’s a weird thing to keep in your memories but….whatever.”
— Lady Lawya (@Parkerlawyer) June 6, 2024
Have kids. They’re a delight.
#8
My phone just filmed a 2 hour documentary about life inside my purse
— LorazeKim ™ 🏴☠️🇺🇸🇮🇹🏁 (@_KimberleyAnna) June 5, 2024
#9
Waiter: Is Pepsi okay?
— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) June 6, 2024
Me [who just ordered a mojito]: not really, no
#10
I get it Internet, I’ve had an “unstable connection” or two myself
— Midge (@mxmclain) June 7, 2024
#11
6yo: How did you get mommy to date you?
— My Life As Dad (@milifeasdad) June 5, 2024
Me: Because I’m charming.
6yo: Oh really? She said it was because you were the least annoying.
#12
Me: *lying face down on the bed in my underwear*
— Heatherhere 👽 (@Heatinblack) June 4, 2024
Husband: you look like a centerfold for depression magazine
#13
When I was a teenager my mom had a little mini candy stash at the very top of a cupboard that was Just For Mom and no one else was allowed to touch it and internally I was like "wow 😑 selfish much?" and anyway now I get it
— Amy Colleen (@sewistwrites) June 3, 2024
#14
My 5yo: WHEN I GROW UP I WANT TO BE A SINGER AND A DANCER AND A MUSICIAN AND A VETERINARIAN AND A PASTOR AND A TEACHER
— Courtney Ellis 🎈 (@courtneyellis) June 3, 2024
Me: Wow! You’d be so good at—
5: I WASN’T DONE
#15
Just killed a wasp all by myself so if you need me I’ll be busy growing chest hair and cleaning out the garage.
— Jennifer Parker (@Mrs_JParker) June 6, 2024
#16
The walk of shame, but it's my husband finally bringing all the dirty dishes and cups that have accumulated on his desk the past few days into the kitchen.
— Hollie Harris (@allholls) June 5, 2024
#17
Husband: Where should I park?
— sixfootcandy (@sixfootcandy) June 7, 2024
Me: I don’t care. Just pick a spot.
Also me: Why did you choose that spot?
#18
I'm running out of towels to throw in
— Natalie Would (@_NatalieWould) June 7, 2024
#19
I’ve defrosted freezers quicker pic.twitter.com/nk4B5aumYh
— ⓟⓞⓟⓢ (@Pops__o) June 6, 2024
#20
On a Zoom call at work today, a coworker said she was going on mute because she had found an emergency stash of biscuits, and was trying to eat them all before her kids came home. We all applauded.
— Granite Man 🏴 (@GraniteDhuine) June 6, 2024
