.png)
.svg){kind=small}
t's my favorite time of the week! And by that I mean it's time to have a good laugh in just 280 characters or less. So, grab your reading glasses and get ready to dive into the world of witty one-liners because let's face it, life is just too short to take everything seriously! Here we go:
#1
Dude. Am I the only person in my generation who doesn't use captions to watch movies/TV? What the heck did y'all do to your eardrums in the 2000s?
— Emma Scott (@EmmaScott) April 12, 2024
#2
I will never forget the time that I helped interview a man for a job opening and when he was asked what he would contribute to the team he said “probably snacks”
— Katie D (@KatieDeal99) April 10, 2024
#3
Marriage tip: If your wife says it’s ok for you to go out on a guys night while she stays with the kids, bring back something juicy for her to enjoy and feast on, like gossip.
— My Life As Dad (@milifeasdad) April 12, 2024
#4
You can never really *own* earbuds. You just have to appreciate the time you had together
— Matty (@bestestname) April 10, 2024
#5
before buying something online, ask yourself: do I want to get an email from this company for the rest of my life?
— Eden Dranger (@Eden_Eats) April 12, 2024
#6
So many times throughout the day I feel like that Ben Affleck smoking meme.
— L (@Ann_Hedonia1) April 10, 2024
#7
In this economy, The Devil Wears Kirkland
— LL Gabagool Jay (@JayTorch1031) April 12, 2024
#8
Singing "Oops...I Did It Again", but it's just about me eating my lunch before 10AM
— Jono (@whoinvitedjon) April 11, 2024
#9
eating your lunch in your car at work is the adult version of the high school bathroom stall.
— .:RiotGrlErin:. (@RiotGrlErin) April 11, 2024
#10
Adulthood is just resetting passwords until you die.
— My Life Is The Pitts Family (@LifePitts) April 12, 2024
#11
I got IDd last night, but as I was rummaging around in my purse for my ID, the dude saw my checkbook and said "nevermind" 😭😒🤣 FIRST OF ALL
— Khadijah A. Robinson (@dijadontneedya) April 12, 2024
#12
I GOT MY STATE TAX REFUND GET DRESSED BABY WE'RE GOING TO WHITE CASTLE
— Böb Jänke: Hönkÿ (@Bob_Janke) April 12, 2024
#13
My husband has some nerve commenting on my grey hair like he isn’t the cause at least half of them
— Mommeh Dearest (@mommeh_dearest) April 11, 2024
#14
I’m really glad my school required geometry instead of personal finance. It’s coming in handy this rhombus season.
— Ennui Cavill (@LaqueefaTeen) April 12, 2024
#15
Please respect my privacy during this time*
— Dr. Johnny Fever 🪩 (@NikiMarinis) April 10, 2024
*eating in my parked car
#16
If anyone's at the mall, please swing by Macy's. I'm trapped in a cocktail dress in a 2nd floor dressing room.
— martha dumptruck 🚚🥤 (@sa1martha) April 10, 2024
#17
The older you get the louder your sighs become.
— Dan Regan (@DanRegan_Comedy) April 12, 2024
#18
Me: I hate drama.
— Abby Heugel (@AbbyHasIssues) April 12, 2024
Also me: Reads all 258 comments on a heated Facebook post thread that is 100 percent not my business.
#19
My washing machine claiming it only has 1 minute left is why I have trust issues
— Real Life Mommy (@reallifemommy3) April 12, 2024
#20
This entire day could've been an email.
— Brock (@Brock_Teee) April 12, 2024
#21
no matter how many examples that my wife keeps pointing out, I refuse to believe my kids get their stubborness from me
— 🌜🤷♂️ 🤯Dad Moon Rising🤯 🤷♂️🌛 (@raoulvilla) April 12, 2024
