The 16 year old kid bagging my groceries asked me how my day was going and I said “can’t complain” and he responded “probably wouldn’t do any good if you did” and honestly that kid is a straight shooter with upper management potential written all over him.

— Ryan, Perdido en TX (@RyanLostinTX) June 20, 2024

When you land on time, but the plane does that little 37 minute sightseeing trip around the airport

— McDad (@mcdadstuff) June 20, 2024

We DO NOT throw perfectly good food away in this house.

We put leftovers in a Tupperware & let it go bad, THEN throw it out!

— mariana Z (@mariana057) June 20, 2024

My mom talks on speakerphone with the same energy as a hostage negotiator.

— Jason, ex Inferis (@benedictsred) June 18, 2024

That moment when you finish all the dishes, turn around, and realize you forgot all the pots and pans on the stove.

— sixfootcandy (@sixfootcandy) June 21, 2024

My 3yo just told me, wrathfully, "Well, if you won't play with me then I'm gonna take a NAP on the COUCH!"

Ooooh. That'll show me.

— Amy Colleen (@sewistwrites) June 19, 2024

Heard another dad at the park refer to the approaching ice cream truck as the music truck. His kid didn’t make one mention of ice cream, just said “oh cool, I love the music truck!” I was stunned. Absolutely brilliant.

— Average Dad (@Average_Dad1) June 20, 2024

Hopeless romantics be like maybe ill meet the love of my life on my little walk around the block

— Holobody (@holobody) June 20, 2024

My daughter said it’s 11:11 make a wish and my son said I wish everyone would shut up so I think he’s ready for adulthood now.

— @itssherifield (@itssherifield) June 20, 2024

Things that now seem obvious but I did not consider before having kids:

-you can’t just take an Uber
-they are always in your house, even at night, you can’t leave
-you cannot pee/shower alone, even if you lock the door, they’ll wait outside
-must feed and water constantly

— Lucy Huber (@clhubes) June 15, 2024

Last night, I thought I was the kind of person who wanted to get up super early today, I’m not that person anymore.

— Darla (@ddsmidt) June 20, 2024

Me: I’m going to eat healthier this summer

*temp reaches 95 degrees*

Also Me: ice cream for dinner it is

— Mommy Needs A Life (@mom_needsalife) June 20, 2024

Shout out to people jogging in this heat, no seriously, shout out to see if they’re ok

— meghan (@deloisivete) June 21, 2024

My 13yo told me we're never truly alone, because we're always carrying 2 1/2 pounds of fungi, bacteria, and mites on our bodies at all times. And I've never wanted to forget something so badly before in my life.

— Hollie Harris (@allholls) June 18, 2024

I have a favorite grocery store cashier and I always go to his line when I see him working. Today, he was scanning my items and one thing wouldn’t scan. He said, “This looks like 99 cents what do you think?”

What is my ethical responsibility to Publix here?

— Lady Lawya (@Parkerlawyer) June 21, 2024

love to buy food when i just got paid like you know what... $18 is a perfectly reasonable price to pay for a sandwich. so i will have 3. with chips and an artisanal lemonade

— megan (@chismosavirus) June 20, 2024