Did you know that if you exercise, drink water, and get 7 hrs of sleep, you still gotta pay bills?

— Marcy G (@BunAndLeggings) January 13, 2023

Some people exercise before breakfast.

I'm watching a show I don't like because the remote fell on the floor.

— Dan Regan (@DanRegan_Comedy) May 27, 2023

I love when my Apple Watch congratulates me for reaching an exercise goal when I’m doing something like walking to the ice cream place.

— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) April 17, 2024

If you live in a cold climate, what are you doing for exercise? Looking for quick works outs I can do from home, preferably while surfing the web on my phone in bed while laying on a heating pad and possibly a little drunk.

— Lurkin' Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) January 23, 2021

I told my tween to exercise so he sat on the couch and told me he was exercising — his right to freedom. I was mad, mostly that I never thought of that one myself.

— I Hide From My Kids (@IHideFromMyKids) August 6, 2023

I have nothing in common with people who like to get up early & exercise because “it’s a great way to start the day!”

That’s what coffee & a bed is for.

— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) August 25, 2018

Welcome to your 40's. You now park at the further parking spot so no one dings your car. Then you say "we can use the exercise" when someone complains about how far you are from the store

— Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) December 15, 2023

I just did like 5 crunches while trying to get up from the couch. Is that exercise? Am I... am I exercising?

— Marcy G (@BunAndLeggings) June 24, 2020

I’m a PARENT, of COURSE I exercise. it’s 10:51am and I’ve already gotten up 900 times to get my kid more goldfish

— ely kreimendahl (@ElyKreimendahl) June 17, 2023

This injury? Oh, it's exercise-related*

*My iPad thwacked my face after I fell asleep watching videos of people organizing their pantries

— nice things I say to myself (@meantomyself) November 16, 2021

I started planking. Well, I laid on my stomach and it was so nice I didn’t want to ruin it with exercise.

— Darla (@ddsmidt) July 17, 2018

Me: Want to go for a jog with me?

12-year-old: Why?

Me: To exercise.

12: I exercise my right not to.

— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) January 24, 2023

I just got winded buckling my toddler into his car seat. So if you're looking for a health and fitness page to follow, I'm clearly your girl.

— Moderately Mom (@moderately_mom) February 5, 2020

If you eat well and exercise, you'll die fit.

— Bob Golen (@BobGolen) April 4, 2024

I’ll do anything to be healthy except exercise, eat good food and drink water.

— Opioid Cunningham (@anthracitedub) February 24, 2024

My favorite exercise is the one where I put on my running shoes & then go sit on the couch with a glass of wine.

— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) February 19, 2019

5-year-old: What are you doing?

Me: Exercising.

5-year-old: You sound like you’re dying.

She’s not wrong.

— Mommy Owl (@Mommy__Owl) January 11, 2020

My favorite form of cardio is racing around trying to hide the evidence of my snacking as my husband walks into the room after his workout

— That Mom Tho (@mom_tho) April 9, 2020

My children were pretending to lead a workout class, and one of them stopped and yelled “tater tot break” and this is a fitness trend I can fully embrace.

— Jessie (@mommajessiec) January 15, 2020