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#1
Girls don’t want flowers. They want burritos…and for you to fill their car up with gas.
— Benny Boy (@Camel_Crushin) February 17, 2024
#2
I think I could live off of burrito versions for every meal. Breakfast burrito, lunch burrito, evening burrito and cannoli. Done.
— charlie capen (@charliecapen) February 17, 2019
#3
Being an adult is bullshit. Old enough to buy yourself a burrito after 7 pm, but too old to eat it without consequences
— nice things I say to myself (@meantomyself) April 4, 2022
#4
Amateur: Meal prepping for the week
— DonutHawk (@StruggleDisplay) March 24, 2022
Expert: Meal prepping for the month
*buys 100 frozen burritos*
#5
If bedtime burritos aren’t a thing, they definitely should be
— Sam G (@ItsSamG) December 11, 2020
#6
My husband just called pizza rolls pizza burritos and I didn’t even know I married a genius until now.
— Mom On The Rocks (@mom_ontherocks) September 27, 2019
#7
THIS JUST IN: my 2yo requested “a burrito with just cheese and beans all rolled up” for dinner and then actually ATE IT???
— Lucy Huber (@clhubes) December 1, 2022
#8
Burritos are better than tacos.
— Laura Marie (@lmegordon) April 7, 2021
#9
Hear me out, A burrito that is just stuffed with street tacos.
— Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) May 21, 2021
#10
me: before I had you, my life was meaningless, rudderless
— Henpecked Hal (@HenpeckedHal) January 2, 2020
son: dad, why are you whispering to a burrito?
#11
Yes, that was me singing Didn’t We Almost Have it all to a burrito I dropped. Mind your business.
— gⓗⓓ (@GingerHotDish) October 26, 2021
#12
My daughter eats her burritos like corn on the cob so clearly I’m raising a monster
— Katie D (@KatieDeal99) February 27, 2023
#13
I’m not saying things are shitty but my emotional support burrito, which I was relying on for EMOTIONAL SUPPORT, just fell apart.
— Snarky Mommy (@SnarkyMommy78) January 31, 2021
#14
Her: So describe to me your dream date.
— The Cultured Ruffian (@CulturedRuffian) December 17, 2018
Me: * smiling *
Her: What are you thinking about?
Me:
*remembering the last burrito I ate* pic.twitter.com/fM1ZORBAWU
#15
My wife just told me to get a burrito from the front pocket of her purse and I've never been more in love in my life.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) January 5, 2024
#16
Just read the "Our Story" section on the back of my frozen burrito box and it said "one day my wife made me a burrito and it was so good I knew we had to start a frozen burrito business" and I just feel like not every boxed food needs a story. It's ok to just not.
— Lucy Huber (@clhubes) December 19, 2023
#17
I’m sorry I didn’t hear that really important thing you said this morning while I was mentally deciding between burritos and tacos for dinner
— I Hide From My Kids (@IHideFromMyKids) August 19, 2023
#18
I was checking to see if a burrito place near me had good reviews and the photos of the place look dingy and the food looks greasy and they serve it in styrofoam and when I clicked their website I got a 404 error. This is going to be the best food I’ve ever tasted.
— Dan Wilbur (@DanWilbur) February 14, 2023
