.png)
.svg){kind=small}
#1
Parenting is knowing not to mention the mere possibility of doing some awesomely exciting activity, unless you damn well intend for it to definitely occur
— redyellowgreendance 💃🏻 (@RYGdance) October 9, 2022
#2
I told my mom I thought parenting got easier as the kids get older and she laughed so hard she cried a little
— Katie D (@KatieDeal99) October 17, 2022
#3
My 9 yo just came downstairs and said he and his 7yo brother were playing a game they called doggy style.
— Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) October 18, 2022
They were dressing up our dog in different clothes. I almost died.
#4
Every invitation to a kid's birthday party should include a link to an Amazon gift registry with presents they actually want and a note stating if alcohol will be served.
— Henpecked Hal (@HenpeckedHal) October 3, 2022
#5
Once again thinking about how deeply fucked up the custody agreement in The Parent Trap is. They were just like “we each get one baby, then we’ll never see our other child for LIFE. But it’s ok bc they look the same”
— Lucy Huber (@clhubes) July 9, 2022
#6
My kid asked me to hold her ice cream without eating any and I was like, I love you kid but some lessons you have to learn the hard way
— Real Life Mommy (@reallifemommy3) July 10, 2022
#7
My kid being mad that he got a $5 bill instead of a quarter from the tooth fairy is exactly why we won’t ever win the war against children
— 🤷🏼♀️Mommeh Dearest🤦🏼♀️ (@mommeh_dearest) July 6, 2022
#8
The way my kids use toothpaste they’ll never have a cavity in their bathroom sink
— Vinod Chhaproo (@Chhapiness) July 11, 2022
#9
I just watched my son get a knot out of his shoelace with the tine of a fork and then put it back in the silverware drawer and OMG! HOW MANY TIMES HAS HE DONE THIS?!
— KJ (@IDontSpeakWhine) July 11, 2022
#10
My kids forgot who was counting in hide and seek, so they've both been hiding quietly for 5 minutes. I'm not even playing but I'm clearly the winner here
— meghan (@deloisivete) July 11, 2022
#11
best part of working from home is having your 5y/o run in while you're on a conference call and cry "I accidentally peed in the wrong place"
— maura quint (@behindyourback) May 9, 2017
#12
Me: Our kids are finally at an age where we can sleep in on week-
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) July 5, 2018
Youth sports: Let me stop you right there.
#13
Hey, parents of an only child considering having one more, know that I just split an M&M in half.
— Val (@ValeeGrrl) November 7, 2015
An M&M.
In half.
#14
Raising teenagers makes raising a toddler look like the easiest time in my life. Sorry for the bad news, toddler parents.
— Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) November 11, 2022
#15
Parenthood is mostly wanting to sleep. But before you can, you have to make sure other people who never want to sleep fall asleep.
— A Bearer Of Dad News (@HomeWithPeanut) February 3, 2022
#16
My son's friend took out the garbage for me because he "noticed it was full."
— KJ (@IDontSpeakWhine) February 1, 2022
Looks like I do have a favorite child.
#17
the day I’ve longed for since the FIRST DAY I became a parent is finally here!!!my daughter is old enough to go get me stuff from the other room
— ely kreimendahl (@ElyKreimendahl) February 19, 2022
#18
Shout out to all the parents planning to take their toddler to a restaurant tonight hoping this time will be different.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) February 25, 2022
#19
Tried to complain to my mom about the difficulties of raising a stubborn child and her eyes rolled so far back in her head I don’t think they’re ever coming back
— Katie D (@KatieDeal99) February 24, 2022
#20
I’m just a mom, standing in my kid’s room, asking why there are fruit snacks on the ceiling
— One Awkward Mom (@oneawkwardmom) April 26, 2022
#21
I cleaned out my teen's room and I found 8 plates, 21 utensils, a TV remote, 8 chapsticks, a burner phone and apparently we have a cat.
— 🎭ᑌᖇᔕᑌᒪᗩ🎭 (@3sunzzz) April 23, 2022
#22
Apparently my kid got in trouble today for PACKING OUR TOASTER IN HIS BACKPACK and pulling it out at lunch to make pop tarts for his class. I can’t stop laughing.
— Elisa Stone Leahy (@ElisaStoneLeahy) April 13, 2022
#23
The hubs just took screen time away from our kids then said he was gonna go mow. Like hell, mf’er. I’m mowing now.
— DonutHawk (@StruggleDisplay) April 19, 2022
#24
I don't know who needs to hear this, but if your 4yo goes walking by the room lugging a step stool nothing good is about to happen.
— My Life Is The Pitts Family (@LifePitts) April 5, 2022
#25
Today my 5 year-old asked me which solar system Planet Fitness was in, and I had to leave the room.
— 🍁Yukon Ghost (@GrahamKritzer) April 18, 2022
