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#1
It’s fun getting room service. I just love eating a $19 hamburger at a desk in front of a mirror.
— Sarah Sweeney (@heysarahsweeney) February 2, 2020
#2
I have Big Burger Energy, as in I ate a big burger and don’t have the energy to move for the next 4-6 hours.
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) February 4, 2022
#3
Uber Eats gave me a badge for ordering from a burger place 58 times and now I need to delete their app
— Kevin The Dad (@kevinthedad) January 6, 2022
#4
My 5 yo’s order at McDonald’s- cheeseburger with ketchup, cheese and pickles. No mustard and no burger.
— Daisy (@Daisyldoo) August 28, 2021
#5
My drug of choice is White Castle burgers with no pickles, what’s urs?
— Antonella212 (Instagram) (@NYorNothing) April 5, 2019
#6
The lady at the Burger King drive-thru window asked me if I wanted a crown with my order and I said yes. When she handed it to me, I started to cry.
— Marissa 💚💛 (@michimama75) April 12, 2024
I’m fine. Why do you ask?
#7
I didn’t realize I liked burgers til I was an adult cause my mom made them like hockey pucks.
— @itssherifield (@itssherifield) September 18, 2022
#8
People who take out the pickles from a McDonalds burger. You are not worthy of that burger. There, I said it.
— Becky (@thehubrispanda) July 3, 2020
#9
I just want to be rich enough to buy
— Bat Shit Crazy (@BatBatshitcrazy) June 26, 2017
pre-made hamburger patties.
#10
i love getting Five Guys burgers when i'm in the mood to not make my mortgage payment for the month
— Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) February 7, 2022
#11
There’s always that person who eats the pickles on their burger and the other throws them away. And they marry each other.
— My Life As Dad (@milifeasdad) October 4, 2022
#12
Served up a batch of burgers at the neighborhood barbecue and announced that, “Hot Single Burgers are now available in your area,” but there wasn’t even a Dad nearby to fist bump so it was just a wasted moment.
— NicholasG (@Dad_At_Law) May 30, 2022
#13
Wife: I thought you were going to make sandwiches for the kids?
— NewDadNotes (@NewDadNotes) August 26, 2019
Me: I did.
Wife: our daughter’s eating a hamburger.
Me: right. a hamburger sandwich.
Wife: you’re lucky your cute.
[Son walks by eating ice cream sandwich]
Wife:
Me: still a sandwich : )
#14
My teen- *with a mouthful of burger and fries* Must be nice to be an adult and do whatever you want
— Maryfairyboberry🧚🏻♀️ (@maryfairybobrry) November 3, 2022
Me- *picking at my salad and holding the bill*- Yeah, it’s been a real treat
#15
I celebrate each workout with a hamburger because I'm dedicated to not reaching my goals.
— Twin Dad (@TwinSurvivalist) January 23, 2017
#16
I’m never more paralyzed with indecision than when I’m at a barbecue and someone offers me a hotdog OR a hamburger.
— Dude-Bro Dad (@thedadvocate01) July 20, 2019
#17
My 6yo setup a pretend burger shop and he was dishing up burgers, fries and coffee for his favourite customers (mommy and daddy). I have to say I was so impressed with his burger shop that I ended up buying a real burger and fries from one of his local competitors.
— Kevin The Dad (@kevinthedad) August 10, 2023
#18
...and that's how they slaughter cows. Now finish your hamburger, Sweetie.
— 🎭ᑌᖇᔕᑌᒪᗩ🎭 (@3sunzzz) March 31, 2016
~me, babysitting a 7yo
#19
they should just make hamburger wrappers edible
— Henpecked Hal (@HenpeckedHal) May 14, 2020
#20
Hello #NationalHamburgerDay! Where have you been all my life? pic.twitter.com/omO4vkirMz
— Lola Marguerita (@LiveBySurprise) May 28, 2019
#21
My 4yo thinks it’s fun to bring up special moments completely out of the blue. So all of a sudden I’ll hear, “mommy, remember when you forgot to water the plant and it died?” or “remember when daddy dropped the burgers on the floor?” Feels like we’re living with a tiny heckler.
— Snarky Mommy (@SnarkyMommy78) August 10, 2020
#22
A horror story called I can't get my mouth around this giant burger.
— V (@Inferno_V) May 15, 2019
#23
Hey, let's eat outside tonight so the flies can eat our food while the mosquitos eat us, & the kids eat nothing because they hate burgers today.
— Stephanie Ortiz (@Six_Pack_Mom) July 16, 2022
