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#1
Science: Domesticated dogs are most closely related to gray wolves.
— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) April 17, 2024
My dog: I won't eat this kibble because it is slightly damp.
#2
Super serious question. Do people say goodbye to their pets when leaving home?
— 🇨🇦Mr. Mike🎙✝️ (@mrmikeMTL) April 16, 2024
#3
My wife and I have taken 6 photos together in the last 2 years.
— Dan Regan (@DanRegan_Comedy) December 17, 2023
Meanwhile we've taken 93 photos of our dog sleeping since last week.
#4
Bought my cat a bow tie because I thought it would make him look fancy, but he just looks like a jaded blackjack dealer. A stare that says “knock yourself out, buddy. split the tens.” pic.twitter.com/MCdfUcY4i0
— Samantha Ruddy (@samlymatters) December 6, 2023
#5
Sorry I’m late my dog laid his head on me.
— Not Today Eric (@NotTodayEric) April 16, 2024
#6
Got a pet cam to figure out what in God’s name goes on in this house while I’m gone and this is not surprising in the slightest pic.twitter.com/UJu5ernDxp
— Sarah Axelrath MD (@DrSarahAxelrath) December 2, 2023
#7
before getting a dog: no dogs on the couch
— Adam (@adamgreattweet) December 21, 2023
after getting a dog: oh that’s the dog’s couch
#8
“You let your cat in your bed” I’d let my cat borrow my car
— tatum (@planetgraves) December 18, 2023
#9
No need to dna test pic.twitter.com/AA8Ns3lTSY
— place where animal shouldn’t be (@catshouldnt) December 4, 2023
#10
People are teaching their dogs how to skateboard and my dog’s chart at the vet says “must be picked up, won’t walk”.
— .:RiotGrlErin:. (@RiotGrlErin) December 6, 2023
#11
— Tweets of Cats (@TweetsOfCats) February 8, 2024
#12
I wanna have an open, honest conversation about PETS having attitudes.
— Queen LaDeefa, JD (@It_Aint__ME) December 7, 2023
Ppl without pets think we be lying about these pets having attitude problems. My cat really will roll her eyes and yell at me when she's mad. Like... They really be on some bs
#13
Kid: *spills cereal all over the floor*
— Real Life Mommy (@reallifemommy3) March 27, 2024
My husband: Can you grab the vacuum cleaner?
Me: Sure *whistles for the dog*
#14
Before you commit to a relationship with ANYBODY you ABSOLUTELY MUST hear the voice they do for their cats and/or dogs I beg of you please
— Jonathan Edward Durham (@thisone0verhere) February 7, 2024
#15
Introverts: what's the polite amount of time to wait before breaking away from the party group to pet the kitty?
— Dr. Kara M. Million (@darterdancer) March 28, 2024
#16
the first 10 minutes of going to anyone’s place in LA is them trying to calm down their dog while telling you this never happens
— Zack Bornstein (@ZackBornstein) February 8, 2024
#17
My dog has always eaten his meals in the mudroom but lately he’s been refusing to eat. I thought it was the brand. Then I thought he might be sick. We went to the vet. We tried new food. Nothing.
— kelly andrew is on hiatus (@KayAyDrew) January 8, 2024
It turns out that in his old age he just wants someone to sit by him while he eats.
#18
— Dont Show Your Cat (@DontShowYourCat) March 26, 2024
#19
passed by a bakery today that exclusively sells baked goods for dogs. you can tell a neighborhood is in its final stage of gentrification when rom-com level businesses start popping up
— Jeremy Kaplowitz (@jeremysmiles) January 7, 2024
#20
Man, I'd love to be a cat. Everywhere you go, people being like OMG A KITTY and you're just like "yep, that's right, I am amazing"
— Holly Brockwell (@holly) January 8, 2024
#21
Hey, tell your dog I said, “woof.”
— Jason, ex Inferis (@benedictsred) March 28, 2024
He’ll know what it means.
