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#1
The thing I like about having teens is how they make a bunch of plans because they're "independent" & then ask to borrow money.
— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) December 16, 2015
#2
Parents of toddlers: I wish they’d just go play in their rooms!
— Real Life Mommy (@reallifemommy3) March 5, 2024
Parents of teenagers: why won’t they come out of their rooms?!
#3
I hope my friends don’t find out I own a coat.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) January 12, 2024
-Teenagers
#4
Teenagers are a lot like cats. They sleep all the time and hiss at you when they’re awake.
— Mommy Needs A Life (@mom_needsalife) August 24, 2023
#5
The aggressiveness of my teenager sitting down on the couch is equal to him being dropped on it from 4,000 feet in the air. Like why.
— Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) February 25, 2024
#6
FYI, when your teenager texts “please pick me up now,” they actually mean “please drive to where I am and wait in your car for 20 minutes while I ignore your texts.” But the best part is when they finally come outside and react to your death stare with, “what? What’s the matter?”
— Marriage And Martinis (@MarriageMartini) February 20, 2024
#7
With the amount of drama I have to deal with on a daily basis, each teenager should count as two deductions on our taxes.
— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) February 5, 2024
#8
My teen declined to go grocery shopping with me because he’s basically an adult now. He also immediately texted to remind me to please buy chicken nuggies but only the dino shaped kind
— Maryfairyboberry🧚🏻♀️ (@maryfairybobrry) July 4, 2023
#9
I don’t know what you guys are talking about, my teenagers always* text me in full sentences
— Sweet Momissa (@sweetmomissa) March 15, 2024
*when they want to stay home from school
#10
My teenager is in spring break next week, please pray for my refrigerator.
— Amanda B (@amandajpanda) March 8, 2024
#11
Hey toddler parents - I have a teenage son now. i'd rather have 50 toddlers if that tells you anything about how great a teenager is. ok bye. hope this helps you.
— Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) January 9, 2024
#12
You can’t hurt me - you’re not having three teenagers on my car insurance bill.
— Sweet Momissa (@sweetmomissa) March 6, 2024
#13
According to my teenage sons the appropriate number of squirts of Axe Body Spray is somewhere between 38 and 579.
— Lady Lawya (@Parkerlawyer) March 27, 2017
#14
How to not piss off your teenager:
— Michelle says "Dance like your knees don't hurt" (@RageMichelle) October 25, 2023
Hahahaha. I have no fucking idea. Go ask a unicorn. Or the tooth fairy.
#15
Teen tried to make a dramatic exit by slamming my door, but there was a towel on the knob. No slam, & no dignity for her as I died laughing.
— Stephanie Ortiz (@Six_Pack_Mom) November 2, 2017
#16
I used to think diapers and baby wipes were expensive until I watched my teenager plow through $300 worth of groceries in two days.
— Raising Teens Today (@HonestTeenTalk) October 13, 2023
#17
Don't give up hope, parents of uncommunicative teens. Today my newly-chatty son said "nah" only three hours after I asked him a question.
— Housewife of Hell (@HousewifeOfHell) October 16, 2016
#18
Me: [walking into Maternity Ward with my teenagers]: WHAT IS YOUR RETURN POLICY
— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) September 27, 2023
#19
A teenager told me they thought I was pretty at the store this evening so if you’ll excuse me, I’ll be riding this high well into my golden years
— Maryfairyboberry🧚🏻♀️ (@maryfairybobrry) September 24, 2023
#20
A nice thing my teenage son does to help around the house is tell us when we're out of the junk food he likes.
— Abe Yospe (@Cheeseboy22) May 13, 2016
