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#1
The thing I like about having teens is how they make a bunch of plans because they're "independent" & then ask to borrow money.
— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) December 16, 2015
#2
Parents of toddlers: I wish they’d just go play in their rooms!
— Real Life Mommy (@reallifemommy3) March 5, 2024
Parents of teenagers: why won’t they come out of their rooms?!
#3
I hope my friends don’t find out I own a coat.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) January 12, 2024
-Teenagers
#4
Teenagers are a lot like cats. They sleep all the time and hiss at you when they’re awake.
— Mommy Needs A Life (@mom_needsalife) August 24, 2023
#5
The aggressiveness of my teenager sitting down on the couch is equal to him being dropped on it from 4,000 feet in the air. Like why.
— Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) February 25, 2024
#6
FYI, when your teenager texts “please pick me up now,” they actually mean “please drive to where I am and wait in your car for 20 minutes while I ignore your texts.” But the best part is when they finally come outside and react to your death stare with, “what? What’s the matter?”
— Marriage And Martinis (@MarriageMartini) February 20, 2024
#7
With the amount of drama I have to deal with on a daily basis, each teenager should count as two deductions on our taxes.
— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) February 5, 2024
#8
Me: You need a coat
— McDad (@mcdadstuff) March 19, 2024
Teen: I’ll be fine
Me: It’s 25 degrees
Teen: I’m in a school all day, I’m not out hunting for deer
#9
I don’t know what you guys are talking about, my teenagers always* text me in full sentences
— Sweet Momissa (@sweetmomissa) March 15, 2024
*when they want to stay home from school
#10
My teenager is in spring break next week, please pray for my refrigerator.
— Amanda B (@amandajpanda) March 8, 2024
#11
Hey toddler parents - I have a teenage son now. i'd rather have 50 toddlers if that tells you anything about how great a teenager is. ok bye. hope this helps you.
— Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) January 9, 2024
#12
You can’t hurt me - you’re not having three teenagers on my car insurance bill.
— Sweet Momissa (@sweetmomissa) March 6, 2024
#13
According to my teenage sons the appropriate number of squirts of Axe Body Spray is somewhere between 38 and 579.
— Lady Lawya (@Parkerlawyer) March 27, 2017
#14
How to not piss off your teenager:
— Michelle says "Dance like your knees don't hurt" (@RageMichelle) October 25, 2023
Hahahaha. I have no fucking idea. Go ask a unicorn. Or the tooth fairy.
#15
Teen tried to make a dramatic exit by slamming my door, but there was a towel on the knob. No slam, & no dignity for her as I died laughing.
— Stephanie Ortiz (@Six_Pack_Mom) November 2, 2017
#16
I used to think diapers and baby wipes were expensive until I watched my teenager plow through $300 worth of groceries in two days.
— Raising Teens Today (@HonestTeenTalk) October 13, 2023
#17
Don't give up hope, parents of uncommunicative teens. Today my newly-chatty son said "nah" only three hours after I asked him a question.
— Housewife of Hell (@HousewifeOfHell) October 16, 2016
#18
Me: [walking into Maternity Ward with my teenagers]: WHAT IS YOUR RETURN POLICY
— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) September 27, 2023
#19
A teenager told me they thought I was pretty at the store this evening so if you’ll excuse me, I’ll be riding this high well into my golden years
— Maryfairyboberry🧚🏻♀️ (@maryfairybobrry) September 24, 2023
#20
A nice thing my teenage son does to help around the house is tell us when we're out of the junk food he likes.
— Abe Yospe (@Cheeseboy22) May 13, 2016
