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#1
How about an Easter egg hunt for people over 40?
— Dan Regan (@DanRegan_Comedy) March 27, 2024
Whoever finds the most eggs gets to take a nap.
#2
My kids want to leave out carrots for the Easter bunny, but I think I’ve talked them into a nice rosé instead
— meghan (@deloisivete) April 5, 2023
#3
Dad, the Easter Bunny should know that I don't like Rolos but he puts them in my basket every year.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) March 28, 2016
Me: (eating a Rolo) Yeah, that's weird.
#4
I am sure that four kids fighting over who found the most Easter eggs at 7 AM is exactly what Jesus had planned for today.
— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) April 9, 2023
#5
I dumped everybody's Easter candy into one bowl.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) April 3, 2018
I said I did it to teach my kids how to share.
But really I did it so they can't tell how much I steal.
#6
My four year old came downstairs an hour earlier than normal this morning and caught me hiding eggs. I had no choice but to tell him the truth: I woke up early to steal the candy that the Easter Bunny had left him.
— Henpecked Hal (@HenpeckedHal) April 12, 2020
#7
*kids any other day*
— yelisa (@beingyelisa) April 4, 2021
I can’t find it, where is it, help me!
*kids on Easter*
I can see a small purple egg with pink polka dots hidden under that shrub 40 feet away, and by the way it’s laying in the grass it probably has 9 jellybeans inside.
#8
Easter baskets when my kids were little: Chocolate, bubbles & toys
— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) April 1, 2018
Easter baskets for them now: Toothpaste, deodorant & job applications
#9
My kid sure is great at picking up Easter eggs for someone who suffers arm paralysis whenever I ask him to clean up his toys.
— Mommy Cusses (@mommy_cusses) April 3, 2017
#10
Easter tip: Tell your kids you hid an egg with $50 in it in the backyard but you don't remember where. Enjoy a quiet day indoors.
— Abe Yospe (@Cheeseboy22) March 24, 2017
#11
It's cool how my kid can find 87 pieces of plastic at this egg hunt in 10 minutes, but he can't find his shoes if they're sitting in his lap
— Salty Mermaid Entertainment (@saltymermaident) April 12, 2017
#12
Please let that be chocolate.
— Ramblin Mama (@ramblinma) March 27, 2016
Please let that be chocolate.
Please let that be chocolate.
- Every parent on Easter
#13
Today’s Lesson:
— Lorrie ❤️🏀 (@lac4nothing) April 11, 2022
Don’t leave your Easter Bunny in the car.😳😂 pic.twitter.com/VvdQtdP4gC
#14
If you don’t eat most of your kids Easter candy and then blame it on the Easter bunny, we can’t be friends.
— Maryfairyboberry🧚🏻♀️ (@maryfairybobrry) April 12, 2020
#15
I don't like who I become when Easter candy is 75% off.
— mark (@TheCatWhisprer) April 17, 2017
#16
We buy candy on sale the day after holidays.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) April 10, 2017
It confuses my kids, though.
I hope they like their Easter baskets full of chocolate Santas.
#17
No sweetie, you can't have your giant chocolate bunny for breakfast, that's not healthy and also mommy ate it for dinner last night.
— Lurkin' Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) April 14, 2015
#18
my mom still gives me an easter basket, but now it has dish sponges, compression socks, and high fiber cereal
— mom mom mom mom mom (@notmythirdrodeo) March 2, 2021
#19
When you stop believing in the Easter bunny, a dollar store dies.
— Mommy Cusses (@mommy_cusses) March 27, 2018
#20
I wish my kids would respect me as much as they do the Easter bunny.
— Mumnipotent Ruler (@MumOfTw0) April 9, 2023
