I just looked up symptoms of someone who looks up symptoms all the time and I definitely have symptoms.

— Late to the party Laura (@ericamorecambe) August 7, 2024

“OK, THAT’S IT. YOU HAVE LOST YOUR SCOTCH TAPE PRIVILEGES!” I announce loudly up the staircase to whoever can hear me because motherhood turns you into a lunatic.

— Lurkin' Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) August 9, 2024

No woman is more full of shit than the one that grabs a basket at Target.

— Julie Burton (@ksujulie) August 7, 2024

“You shouldn’t let your kids watch tv” ok but have you considered I’m really tired and I want to look at my phone

— Lucy Huber (@clhubes) August 2, 2024

Don’t ask me why, but the older you get the more you love having the house to yourself.

— krista pacion (@kristabellerina) August 7, 2024

Liquor store is busy af right now. Must be a bunch of parents celebrating the first week back in school.

— Ginger (@gingerbrigade1) August 9, 2024

A significant portion of adulthood is spent deleting screenshots you can’t remember why you took.

— Mommy Needs A Life (@mom_needsalife) August 5, 2024

I like to watch the Olympics and guess how far into each event I would die.

— Alex Baze (@bazecraze) August 9, 2024

Had dinner with a family who limits their kids’ TV and sugar consumption and after they left my 4yo son rolled into the kitchen on his scooter and said “I eat a million ice creams and watch a million things on TV. It’s the only thing I love.” then rolled away.

— Lucy Huber (@clhubes) August 7, 2024

My 6yo told me there's a kid called Mirror in his new class, and I'm not sure if he misheard or that's just where we are with names now

— meghan (@deloisivete) August 6, 2024

I’ll be 85 years old and back to school commercials will still make me anxious.

— Lindsay (@Rollinintheseat) August 5, 2024

My child said she wanted to be like me so she put my glasses on top of her head and walked around saying “where are my glasses?!” I feel attacked

— Lottie-pop 🍭 (@Lottie_Poppie) August 6, 2024

My hobbies include:
-making long lists
-being too lazy to finish a task
-
-

— Katie D (@KatieDeal99) August 7, 2024

I’m at the age where I’m planning meals based on how hungry I need to be for the next meal, like “oh no I can’t have a big plate of pasta for lunch because I’m having tacos for dinner”

— Heatherhere 👽 (@Heatinblack) August 7, 2024

Sometimes I think about when my four year old told me she ate fruit at school and when I asked which one she said flamangos.

— @itssherifield (@itssherifield) August 8, 2024

I won't admit to being a worst case scenario person but when my dog is a little extra affectionate I get scared I have a fatal illness she can smell on me

— nice things I say to myself (@meantomyself) August 7, 2024

Me: I could really use a vacation

My kid: Mom! We’re on vacation

Me: Are you here?

My kid: Yes

Me: I could really use a vacation

— Real Life Mommy (@reallifemommy3) August 9, 2024