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#1
My teen says there’s nothing I can do to embarrass her and that sounds like a challenge to me.
— krista pacion (@kristabellerina) July 18, 2024
#2
Hacker: Give us your password or else
— McDad (@mcdadstuff) July 18, 2024
30 minutes later…
Me: OK, now try 1987 and three exclamation points
#3
Me to my friends with kids: no one cares if your house is messy! Everyone knows children live there! We love you, not your house ☺️
— Amy Colleen (@sewistwrites) July 14, 2024
Me when friends are coming over: tidy tidy tidy empty trash clean clean clean clean clean HURRY HURRY HURRY THEY CANNOT KNOW WE LIVE IN FILTH 😵
#4
Guys I tried not buying the little treat and saving money and it was not worth it
— Katie D (@KatieDeal99) July 19, 2024
#5
I am SO tired of having to figure out what's for dinner.
— Heather Wylie (@unxpctdisvry) July 16, 2024
I HATE HATE HATE meal planning. I had no idea that being an adult was endless meal planning.
#6
My husband asked me to go to a client meeting out of town. No problem, it’s only 5 hours away. About an hour into the drive, I asked what hotel we are staying at and this man said, “That’s the best part. We are staying at his house!”
— Lady Lawya (@Parkerlawyer) July 19, 2024
WHAT?! You just know the client said, “You…
#7
Bring back job interviews that consist of only 1 interview
— Chris H (@iam_purfection) July 18, 2024
#8
Not my parents getting same-day delivery on a Lite Brite for my kids when I spent two years asking for one in the '90s.
— meghan (@deloisivete) July 18, 2024
#9
14: [waking up for the day] good morning dad
— Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) July 13, 2024
me: it's 1:30 pm.
#10
Nothing makes you appreciate your own kids more than spending a week with other people’s kids.
— I Hide From My Kids (@IHideFromMyKids) July 19, 2024
#11
No one is more full of shit than a kid who says ‘I’ll do it later.’
— One Awkward Mom (@oneawkwardmom) July 16, 2024
Except for me when I say ‘I’ll do it when the kids go to bed.’
#12
Sometimes when it doesn't rain on a Wednesday I'll say 'Happy dry hump day' lol I'm not allowed in the office on Wednesdays.
— FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF (@sofarrsogud) July 19, 2024
#13
I think my first day working for Microsoft is going really well.
— Granite Man 🏴 (@GraniteDhuine) July 19, 2024
#14
At the State Fair and can't find my family anywhere so headed over to look for em at the beer garden for about an hour.
— Daddy Go Fish (@daddygofish) July 17, 2024
#15
I don’t get it, do my kids just spit directly on the mirror when brushing their teeth? Make it make sense.
— Mommy Needs A Life (@mom_needsalife) July 17, 2024
#16
I’m gonna leave the house without my phone and pretend it’s 1992.
— Not Today Eric (@NotTodayEric) July 18, 2024
#17
I’m gonna leave the house without my phone and pretend it’s 1992.
— Not Today Eric (@NotTodayEric) July 18, 2024
