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#1
My husband went down the stairs first not knowing that our toddler wanted to go down the stairs first. Thoughts and prayers at this difficult time.
— Dr Áine Mahon (@AineMarieMahon) March 29, 2022
#2
i ask my toddler what's in the box she's holding. "chaos!" she replies. "chaos! chaos!" i know she's trying to say "crayons," but it's not like she's wrong.
— rachelle mandik 🕳 (@rachelle_mandik) January 9, 2018
#3
Me: The whole “terrible two’s” thing is a myth.
— WTFDAD (@daddydoubts) May 19, 2019
Friend: That’s good to know.
Me: It’s actually much worse than that.
#4
Buy all the cute stuffed animals you want but your toddler is going to sleep with a spatula instead
— One Awkward Mom (@oneawkwardmom) October 7, 2022
#5
It takes my toddler son four minutes to put his shoes on, yet he can delete three apps & open Netflix on my iPhone in 12 seconds.
— Stephanie Ortiz (@Six_Pack_Mom) October 4, 2016
#6
Do yourself a favor and don’t look into your drink after sharing with your toddler... just throw it out🤦🏽♀️
— Your Mom (@modernmomese) August 8, 2019
#7
Do tons of activities with your toddler on Saturday, let them stay up late and really wear them out so they still wake up at 4:30 on Sunday morning.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) September 18, 2022
#8
Describe having a toddler in one picture. I’ll go first: pic.twitter.com/2omaovTHHm
— 🕸🎃🧛♀️ (@helloitscorrie) August 10, 2019
#9
I was just enviously admiring the energy and flexibility of a 3yo and then he kneed himself in the face.
— HowToBeADad (@HowToBeADad) April 27, 2016
#10
There are few things more terrifying than finding your toddler in the living room with an uncapped red Sharpie in her hand.
— Sara (@smilely_gal) February 9, 2016
#11
The tea party my toddler invited me to feels more like a hostage situation.
— Unfiltered Mama 💗✌️ (@UnfilteredMama) May 5, 2017
#12
"And I'm going to live with you forever and ever"
— AussieAnnie (@MummaCrazy) July 7, 2015
~Toddler threats
#13
My toddler is trying to put away her crayons in a box with no bottom
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) May 1, 2016
I’d help her, but she’s too happy
She thinks she has infinite crayons
#14
I have a solar eclipse every two minutes inside my living room ever since my toddler learned how to open & close the blinds.
— A Bearer Of Dad News (@HomeWithPeanut) August 20, 2017
#15
Was watching tv, realized the dishwasher was on even though Id emptied it. Asked my husband why he ran it. He didn’t. THE TWO YEAR OLD RAN THE DISHWASHER UNDETECTED AND EMPTY for an entire hour. He’d been asking if he could run it for weeks. Guess he just saw his opportunity?
— Lucy Huber (@clhubes) December 6, 2022
#16
Yesterday my toddler called me Your Majesty, today she’s calling me Mom Face, I think I’m heading in the wrong direction
— Real Life Mommy (@reallifemommy3) December 5, 2022
#17
toddler *walks by with a hammer*
— Josh (@iwearaonesie) May 28, 2018
me: What are you gonna make?
toddler: Noise
