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#1
I wish my abs were as hard as the rest of my life
— Helleanor Rigby (@Mom_Overboard) July 7, 2024
#2
Welcome to July. Your options are:
— Lurkin' Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) July 7, 2024
1. Sit outside and broil.
2. Sit inside and freeze.
#3
Trying to figure out what to buy to fix my entire life. Is it…a new rug?
— Lucy Huber (@clhubes) July 8, 2024
#4
What wine pairs best with finding out my in-laws are staying two days longer than planned
— meghan (@deloisivete) July 7, 2024
#5
When I was a kid, we didn’t have “influencers". We watched a singing frog that dated a pig and a grouch that lived in a trashcan. It was a simpler time.
— Abby Heugel (@AbbyHasIssues) July 7, 2024
#6
Now that I know how to ring up produce at self checkout, there’s no stopping me.
— Stacey (@skittle624) July 7, 2024
#7
Sometimes I walk into a public restroom and it becomes clear that not everyone should have public restroom privileges.
— your other mom (@difficultpatty) July 5, 2024
#8
I cannot definitively say, even after all I’ve seen, that I would not visit Jurassic Park
— Melissa (@awkwardenabled) July 6, 2024
#9
Having to wear pants because we have houseguests is bullshit, she said graciously
— meghan (@deloisivete) July 6, 2024
#10
Your secret is safe with me and my sister.
— Katie (@ALadyNamedKatie) July 5, 2024
#11
If you are a lady married to a man and that man does any parenting in public, a group of Boomer ladies is contractually obligated to show up and act like they have seen a real live unicorn
— girl fieri (@realgirl_fieri) July 6, 2024
#12
Apologies to our waitress Amy who said to my dad, “wanna box for the leftovers?” and he replied, “no, but I’ll wrestle you for them” hope we tipped enough
— Cooper Lawrence (@CooperLawrence) July 7, 2024
#13
If I had known in my 20s what true exhaustion would feel like in my 40s, I never would have said I was tired. Ever. Not once.
— Hollie Harris (@allholls) July 6, 2024
#14
I’m not saying I’m scared of my 8 year old, but she told me Scar “only killed one person so he’s not that bad” and then when I pointed out that it was his brother, she shrugged.
— Marissa 💚💛 (@michimama75) July 6, 2024
#15
My MIL: One bottle of wine is enough for the six of us.
— krista pacion (@kristabellerina) July 7, 2024
Me, stumbling across the porch and through the living room and down the hall and into the kitchen: No, it’s not!
