My son has a friend who just shows up at our door and knocks to see if he’s home. No texting. No calling. Just showing up like we used to back in the 80s. It’s my favorite.

— Sara Says Stop (@PetrickSara) January 15, 2024

My dad told my daughter she was the best duster ever then leaned in to me and whispered “if you tell kids they’re amazing at the chore they don’t bitch about doing it” and suddenly I’m questioning if I really was the most amazing weed-puller he ever saw

— Katie D (@KatieDeal99) January 18, 2024

My 8yo singing Howareyouyeah instead of Hallelujah is the rewrite we all needed.

— I Hide From My Kids (@IHideFromMyKids) January 13, 2024

Yesterday, I overheard a man say, "Babe, are you okay?" She responded with a simple "I'm fine," and then he just said okay and walked away.

Rookie move, bro. Rookie move.

— sixfootcandy (@sixfootcandy) January 23, 2024

After being snowed and iced in for most of the week I just did my laundry. I wore 2 shirts all week. I'm a teenager.

— Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) January 21, 2024

My daughter, a law school graduate, passer of the bar exam and full grown attorney just showed me her multivitamin she’s been taking for months. She said, “I think I misunderstood this.” It says for Women 50+ and she thought the 50+ meant 50+ vitamins in each pill.

— Lady Lawya (@Parkerlawyer) January 23, 2024

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but the Christmas decorations won't take themselves down.

— My Life As Dad (@milifeasdad) January 18, 2024

I can’t seem to catch a break but I have no problem catching every cold my kid brings home from school

— Mommeh Dearest (@mommeh_dearest) January 18, 2024

My wife texted me to pick her up something called hair nourishing elixir, so I'll be home sometime in the next 3 days.

— Dan Regan (@DanRegan_Comedy) January 20, 2024

Guys, the secret to being middle aged sexy is vacuuming. You must vacuum.

— Boyd's Backyard™ (@TheBoydP) January 28, 2024

When I die, throw me on Mt. Everest so it looks like I was trying to do something.

— Kelly (@kelly__le) January 27, 2024

A step-by-step guide to helping me in the kitchen:

1. Leave the kitchen

— I Hide From My Kids (@IHideFromMyKids) January 25, 2024