A wife and expectant mother has taken to Reddit to ask followers if she is in the wrong after refusing to tell her husband the gender of their baby-to-be. User "Thrownoreveal1" explains that she and her husband are both very excited to be expecting their first baby but that he "barely attends any doctor appointments" with her. So now she has refused to share the gender of their coming little one and wants to know if that makes her a bad person in a recent "AITA" post.

Mom-to-be insists that her husband's excuses for not going to doctor appointments with her "aren't even valid." She goes on to lament that "he's willing to miss the doctor appointment over soccer or a drink or boardgame with friends." She adds that her husband insists, "I'm not the one carrying the baby, why do I have to go see the doctor with you?"

After dealing with this for a while, the Reddit user says, "Last week was my final straw. He was supposed to come with me for the baby's gender reveal appointment, but he chose to not come last minute because his friend invited him to fish 'n' chips meal. I was pretty livid but didn't make a fuss about it. Mom went with me instead."

She went on to share that although her husband kept texting her to find out what the gender of their coming child was, she refused to answer him. He then resorted to "spam calling" her, but she simply answered and then hung up on him each time. Although her husband later came home fuming and demanded to know the child's gender, she still refused to tell him.

In fact, the wife explained to her husband that since he refused to go to the doctor with her, he would not get the results until the baby is born and insists that she is "willing to die on this hill."

Now her husband is calling her "spiteful and immature" for punishing him and says that since he is the father, he has a right to know the gender of his own child. He adds that she is being "dramatic" because she was not alone at the doctor's office since her mom went with her.

Now his family is accusing her of "playing mind games" and pressuring her to reveal the gender. The husband's mother even called the doctor's office to ask the gender, but "that didn't go well," and another argument ensued.

The wife wants to know "AITA?"

Many of those in comments assure the wife that she is perfectly correct to feel as she does. Many went so far as to declare, "NTA. Already a deadbeat dad before the baby is even born." Another swears, "I would drop a friend if I found out they prioritized fish and chips over their wife and baby's doctor appointment."

Still another user answers the wife's query, "Better to know he's a deadbeat now after a decade of miserable marriage. How he handles this really easy stuff right now is an excellent forewarning for how he'll be after the baby is born. This is only a bump in the road. She needs to know how his emotional suspension will handle before they get utterly totaled down the line."

As one user explains, "To be clear, this is NOT a gender reveal appointment - it is a full anatomical scan in which they check every organ and limb for potential issues, and as a side note, can also often tell you which genitals baby will have. So, partner is not just skipping a 'gender reveal' but leaving their pregnant partner to attend a lengthy appointment on their own during which they could possibly receive concerning information about the development of their baby - if there are issues, it's often during this scan that they are discovered. Partner is incredibly selfish and showing their true colors. Absolutely NTA."

So, what do you think? Should she reveal their baby's gender, or make her husband wait? Do you feel this is worth arguing over when a new baby is on the way, or should she let it go? And does his refusal to support her at doctor appointments indicate that he will be a deadbeat dad? Let us know your thoughts in the comments!

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