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#1
My wife said we need to “evaluate the garage” so there goes my weekend
— McDad (@mcdadstuff) February 24, 2024
#2
My husband is out of town, but the cupboard doors are still open, so now I have to face some cold hard truths about myself
— meghan (@deloisivete) May 20, 2024
#3
I am getting so many answers right on Jeopardy! tonight my husband just asked, very seriously, “Is this a re-run?”
— Lady Lawya (@Parkerlawyer) May 23, 2024
#4
One minute you’re happily married and the next minute he’s cut open a resealable Costco-sized bag.
— I Hide From My Kids (@IHideFromMyKids) January 17, 2024
#5
Went on a whale watch today and my husband got up at 6am singing a song he made up to the tune of “You’re the One that I Want” from Grease but it was “You’re the Whale that I Watch.” Should I move out
— Kristen Mulrooney (@missmulrooney) May 27, 2024
#6
Used my husband's body wash and forgot how to load the dishwasher.
— Tragically Tater 🍁🐾 (@TrueTorontoGirl) January 16, 2024
#7
My husband just left on a work trip. Now what can I throw out?
— Mumnipotent Ruler (@MumOfTw0) April 1, 2024
#8
My wife texted me to pick her up something called hair nourishing elixir, so I'll be home sometime in the next 3 days.
— Dan Regan (@DanRegan_Comedy) January 20, 2024
#9
My wife has the TV remote so I guess we're just slowly scrolling through the guide tonight.
— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) May 25, 2024
#10
My wife puts groceries on the conveyor belt like there may be an award for most organized.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) May 4, 2024
#11
Ok so my husband and I are mad at each other, and I just noticed on the grocery list he wrote "A Better Attitude"
— Mediocre Mom (@MediocreMamaa) April 15, 2024
Do I laugh or….?
#12
At the park and heard a husband tell his wife “we have Starbucks at home” after she asked to go so I slipped her my divorce attorney’s card.
— Marissa 💚💛 (@michimama75) May 12, 2024
#13
Husband: You’ve got to hold on a second, I can’t do everything at once!
— Real Life Mommy (@reallifemommy3) May 21, 2024
7: because you’re not a mom?
Husband: yes
#14
My husband went to the craft store with my kid and brought home three containers of glitter, in case you’re wondering why I changed the locks
— Real Life Mommy (@reallifemommy3) April 2, 2024
#15
Wives be like “This will change everything” and it’s just installing a shelf in the garage.
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) January 26, 2023
#16
I wish I had the false confidence that my husband has when he says “Don’t worry about it. I’ll get up early and do it.”
— Bird Eckler (@Birdeckler) May 3, 2024
#17
Every night when my husband gets home I ask him how his day at work went, as if I have any idea what he does.
— Mediocre Mom (@MediocreMamaa) January 16, 2024
